How to Find Your Values

Values. They’re the silent navigators guiding your life. They decide what drives you, where you spend your time, and who you want to become. The trick? Make sure your values work for you, not against you. Because if your values suck, well, life probably does too.

How to Determine Your Current Values

Step 1: Reflect on Your Actions
Actions speak louder than intentions. Where are you spending your time, energy, and money? Are you saying you value growth, but Netflix knows you better than the treadmill? Jay Shetty suggests that examining how you truly spend your time and resources can reveal your actual values—not just the ones you think you have. Track your actions for a week—where do your hours go? Where’s your money going? These clues are all you need to identify what’s truly important to you right now.

Step 2: Write It Down
Once you've reflected, write down your top five values. Look at them and ask: Are these values actually making my life better? If they aren’t, it’s time for a change. Writing them down gives clarity and focus—more than just vague thoughts swimming around in your head.

How to Find Your Real Core Values

Step 1: Distance Yourself from Outside Influences
Values are often whispered to us by our environments—society, family, friends. To find your real values, you need space from all those voices. Imagine yourself stripped of those influences. What excites you? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you admire? These are the questions that reveal your values.

The Values Pyramid is a great framework for defining your true values—breaking human needs into stages, from Survival to Fulfilment. Remember, each level is crucial. You can't move forward without meeting your Survival needs but beware that this level can easily trap you. The lure of excess consumption can keep you stuck, preventing growth and progress. Belonging gives you a community and safety net, while Growth allows you to develop the skills you need to make an Impact. But here’s the twist: Fulfilment isn’t just at the top. You can work towards it at any level with the right mindset (more on this in our next blog).

Step 2: Rate Your Current Values on Quality
Look at your values and ask: Are they based on who I am or what others think I should be? The best values are internal—like honesty or resilience—things you control, regardless of how others see you. Ditch the ones tied to pleasing people or seeking approval. You want values that make your life meaningful, not values that depend on someone else’s opinion.

Some Values Are Just Better Than Others

Not all values are equal. Wanting everyone to admire you or craving absolute control might sound powerful, but they have shaky foundations. They're based on external validation—factors you can’t control.

Instead, build your life on values that are internal and actionable. Choose values like growth, kindness, or courage—qualities that depend on your actions, not on how others react. They bring lasting fulfilment because they’re yours alone to cultivate.

Self-Image and Values

Your values are a reflection of your self-image. You might chase recognition because you don’t believe you’re enough, or prioritise comfort to avoid any risk of failure. This isn’t entirely your fault—your self-image is shaped by past experiences, many beyond your control. But here’s the good news: changing your self-image changes everything. To know how to do this, check out our blog on mastering habits—where we discuss changing who you think you are by transforming what you do.

Coming Up Next…

Fulfilment isn’t just reserved for those who have reached the top of the values pyramid—it’s a mindset you can cultivate wherever you are. In our next blog, we’ll explore how to find peace, gratitude, and spirituality in your everyday life. With practical tips for shifting your mindset, we’ll help you discover fulfilment, regardless of your current stage. Stay tuned!

Harvard Style References

Books:

  • Shetty, J. (2020). Think Like A Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day. Thorsons.

Articles:

  • Start With Values. (n.d.). The Values Pyramid: A Hierarchy of Core Values. Available at: Start With Values

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