Habit 1: Be Proactive. Your Real Life Super Power.

In this blog we continue our exploration of Stephen R. Covey’s book: “7 habits of highly effective people”. The remainder of this series will focus on each of the habits.


It is hard to write a blog on being proactive without sounding like a preachy parent. However, I am not writing this because I believe I have mastered it. I am writing it because I too keep forgetting that I have this power.

Do we really have the ability to be proactive?


If you are someone who has repeatedly tried and failed to quote “sort your life out”. You may be wondering

whether it is even possible to take control of our actions. Can we actually change how we react? Or are we just

hardwired by our past?


Stephen R.Covey believes that we have four unique human endowments (fancy word for qualities) that grant us

this control. These are: 


  • Self-awareness

  • Imagination

  • Conscience

  • Independent will


He argues that they give us the power to pause, reflect and act intentionally. Between stimulus and response there

is a space. In that space lies our ability to choose.



Viktor Frankl, a 20th-century psychologist and Holocaust survivor, became one of the clearest examples of this principle in action. In the worst imaginable conditions, Frankl realised he still had the power to choose his response. He chose to help others by providing medical and psychological aid to his fellow inmates, offering care

and dignity where little existed. Demonstrating incredible proactivity in the face of tremendous suffering.


Now you may be thinking, as a psychologist, he was conditioned to react this way. Although that could be true, he

later reflected that many prisoners, not just himself, tapped into this same inner strength. Frankl believed that

choosing to turn to the best parts of our human nature is the true inner freedom that no one can take away. 


A tough pill to swallow.


If you too accept this truth, that you have the power to choose your response, then you also accept something harder. You are not the victim of your circumstances. You are the product of your reaction to them.


Your choices. Not your mums. Not your managers. Not even societies. Yours. Determine how you feel and what kind of life you build.


Tools for proactivity.


Covey dives into some helpful methods we can use to shift our mindset and therefore our behaviour from

reactive to proactive:


“Life is chores” became one of my favourite sayings after moving out. It truly felt that suddenly most of my free

time was filled up with things I “had to do” instead of things I “wanted to do”. However, reflecting on it now, I can

see that this was a reactive way of viewing things, instead of a proactive one.


You see the language we use, even in our head, has great power over how we feel and view the world. The truth is

I wanted to clean my house every week because I like living and hosting friends in a clean house. So instead of

saying to myself “I have to clean the house today”, I should have been saying “I choose to clean the house today”.


Try changing some of your reactive language and see if it makes a difference. Here are some common examples:


Reactive Language

Proactive Language

"I have to"

"I choose to"

"If only…"

"Let’s find a way"

"That’s just how I am"

"I can grow and change"


Circle of Concern vs Circle of Influence


The Circle of Concern includes all the things we care about: war, inflation, illness, the weather, what others think

of us.


The Circle of Influence includes only the things we can directly do something about.


Reactive people focus all their energy on the Circle of Concern.


Proactive people pour their energy into their Circle of Influence. As a result, that circle expands over time.


Since you have made it this far, I will let you in on a secret. I don't believe it is possible to ever fully

“sort your life out”. There will always be something that needs sorting. That is why it is so important to first focus

on sorting the things we can influence.

Wrapping it up.


With this habit, Covey redefines responsibility as the ability to choose your response. It’s not about blame or

burden it’s empowerment. To choose to get a little better each day in the ways we work, love and live.


So, will you choose to embrace this superpower? 

References

  • Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Free Press.

  • Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s Search for Meaning. Rider.

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